Fading

I'm slowly slipping
Falling
Tumbling down
A dark rabbit hole.
Or so it seems.

Will people notice me gone?
Will it be tomorrow
Or will it take days
Weeks
Months...
I want to fade fast

Not like those old posters that hang in store windows forever
Forgotten
The smiles and pretty colors faded to grey over the months leaving behind
This worn out piece of paper
Barely holding onto its tape
Neglected

I want to fade like someone's
Favorite stuffed toy
The one who goes everywhere with them
They are so
Grey and
Tattered and
Patched but
Never get forgotten. Ever.
They are Loved

I get forgotten.
I get left in
Places I don't even know or
Remember

Where will I end up this time
There are numerous possibilities
Real or
Unreal; those are the best
Once you get there you don't seem to ever fade away

I feel faded.
No color left.
But the sad thing is
I miss it
The color
The fun
The laughter
With real people- its not the same here
Wherever "here" is

I didn't want to fade like this
It's depressing and dull.
This is miserable.

I can sometimes come back, though
If I try really hard
I can
Be colorful
Be fun
Be a person I want to be
And its nice
But then I remember

I'm fading.
Like daylight at an early dusk
It comes unexpectedly
Like far sight in a deep fog
frightening me
And I think to myself
I don't want to go
Back
I want to stay.
But I cant.
I never can.

I have to fade.
I have to go.
Not forever
Maybe not for long.
I'll be back someday.
I promise.
I'll be fun
I'll be colorful
I'll be "me"

But its time to fade
Time to blend in with the background
To recess into the trees
To become part of the lovely scenery.

So until next time


In this poem, I used enjambment to emphasize certain points and words to make a statement and to make simple phrases more dramatic within the poem as a whole.  I alluded to the book Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll because Wonderland is this fantasy place that is made up by the main character- Alice- that she just falls into and how it seems so amazing but when she gets back she's glad she's back.  It's like how the narrator is feeling in the poem-- how its so wonderful because she doesn't fade but then she wants to go back because its not the same.  I used anaphoras to connect ideas with one theme-- what the narrator wants to be, what she has to do, what she isn't anymore.  I put similes into the poem to show how she fades.  Its not this sudden thing, and it comes back, so she gets back, but it gets dark and foggy and she has to disappear to her "Wonderland".